‘Failure’ is a loaded word and can trigger a cascade of negative emotions and old hurts. But we can only ‘fail’ when we try something and the only way to avoid possible ‘failure’ is to never try!
I started thinking about this subject recently when a Client who had visited me for one consultation, decided not to return. This does happen from time to time and when I was just starting out, I would spend days turning the case over and over in order to establish what I had done ‘wrong’. I quickly learnt that yes, sometimes, on reflection I could have done something differently – either regarding my prescription or in my management of the case. But always this was a lesson well learnt and enabled me to avoid repeating the same thing in future cases.
Today I would still scan such cases before accepting the outcome and ofcourse would note any learning to be had. What I no longer do, is chastise myself for doing my best to help another! I am confident that the majority of the time I have done my best and it is not my responsibilty if someone decides not to return. So is this ‘failure’ or is it on both my part and my Clients part, a well intentioned attempt to address something that for whatever reason couldn’t get off the ground? In the words of Psychologist BF Skinner ” A failure is not always a mistake, it may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.”
I like to think that my Clients always learn something from any exchange with me as I learn from them – even if it’s simply that they realise that they are not ready to embark on a Health journey at this stage in their development. It’s all valuable learning and shouldn’t be regarded as ‘failure’.
Prehaps if we applied this thinking to all areas of our lives we would stand a better chance of having richer and more furfilling lives. It’s easy to survive in a small but familiar ‘bubble’ of comfort where everything is ‘safe’ and reasonably predictable but is that really Living? When we open up to new opportunities and all the new and slightly unfamiliar sensations that go with that, inevitably we are expanding ourselves and learning more and more about our capabilities. This can be simply trying unfamiliar foods, exploring local places, joining clubs or support groups or travelling to new countries. It can also be about honouring ourselves emotionally, trying to tell people how we feel rather than swallowing difficult emotions and therefore carrying them with us in an ever heavier sack! If we continue being timid, never venturing out of our shells in case we invite criticism or we ‘fail’, we will never truelly know ourselves and all the wonderful things we are capable of. Let go of any need to be ‘perfect’ or to do everything ‘perfectly’ as this can absolutely cripple us and prevent any progress in our lives. It doesn’t matter if things are not 100% perfect, what matters is that you tried, you showed up, you did your best. Homeopathic remedies can be so useful in enabling people to let go, or to ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’ and sometimes taking that first scarey step out of your comfort zone is all that’s needed to start a cascade of events that will transform your life! Go on – embrace your ‘failures’ and congratulate yourself for having tried!